What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Do you know what she said mum?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

How did China invent gunpowder but it was the European nations that went out and “conquered the world using firearms”?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do you think most people would rather be a certain race or are most people happy with the race they are?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

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What! how could you do that?

What do you mean son?

True - how I loved my mum!

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She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”